Little Bites

Where there isn't one great tale to tell, 4 little ones will do, right? If there's one thing that fast food and engineering have in common, it's that they each drive home that the little things matter.

• Graffiti: What the HELL happens to males when they stand at the urinal at a fast food bathroom that makes them decide to carve swastikas into any available surface? Or scrawl the N Word? Or (and this is the one I find most perplexing) draw involved pictures of penises, frequently going into or coming out of something, or with something going into or coming out of them. Seriously people... if you spent less of your focus on and social commentary, and more on aim, it might be less miserable cleaning those damn bathrooms.
  

  
  

• The Color of Lettuce: Let me set the scene... I'm on the front register. We have a microphone we use to repeat all the front orders into, so that the sandwich maker/fry guy/whoever can get started on the order without having to stare at awkwardly located computer screens. My customer on this particular day asked that I make sure his lettuce was green, as he didn't care for the white stuff. I dutifully repeated his preference along with the rest of his order. The sandwich maker actually stopped what she was doing, turned to me and called out "You're kidding me about the green/white lettuce thing, right?" It was far from the weirdest request of the day, but for some reason, THAT was what completely broke her. Go figure.
  

  
  

• New Englandisms?: A customer at the drive ordered a "Lemon Spritzer." I'd never heard of such a thing, so figured that might be Old Person for lemonade. I made her one and when she arrived at the window, helpfully handed it to her. You'd think I'd handed her a steaming turd. "THIS is not a lemon spritzer" she spat, every word dripping acid. "Well, what can I get you miss?" I neutralized with peppy base. "A lemon spritzer" she explained as if to a very slow baby leper "is seltzer water with a slice of lemon." "Of course. Coming right up miss." Seriously? You can't ask for seltzer with lemon? Is this really a common term that I've completely missed? Is it a New England thing? If so, it's a wicked pissah...
  

  
  

• A Touch of Class: Around Christmas time, some of the folks in the store did some decoration. Some tinsel, some bunting, you know, good traditional secular Christmasy stuff. There was even a little tree complete with decorations atop the ice machine positioned in just such a way that the drive through customer could see it while at the window. I'm not sure if that was corporate policy, or just my boss being delightful. But there was one detail that was both incredibly heart-warming and entirely my boss. There were little stockings that ran all along one wall of the dining room. It wasn't until I got much closer (to change a light bulb or something) that I realized they each had names on them. There was actually a stocking for each person who worked at the store. For some reason, this actually choked me up. On a certain day near the end of December, we actually did a Secret Santa gift exchange, had some food that DIDN'T come from our restaurant (and if you've ever worked fast food, you'll know what a huge treat that is), and our stockings, put on the little tree, had been filled with candy, gift certificates, and even a little cash. If that kind of generosity is part of some corporate policy, that's a corporation I'm proud to be a part of. But I just think my boss has figured out how to be tough while simultaneously having the biggest heart in the fast food industry.
  

That's all for now. Until next time, dear readers, remember the immortal words of Miss Piggy: "Never eat more than you can lift."